Going Green Part Six: Exit Interview!
Over the course of the last twelve weeks, I have learned to be Green. Obviously, the best way to summarize what I’ve learned is to interview myself.
It’s so nice of you to join me today.
Umm, thanks, I guess? What’s this about? Am I in trouble?
No, no. This is about summarizing everything you learned about Green Living. What it means, how it helps the world, and how it makes you a better person.
Oh, okay. So it’s not about the dishes I haven’t washed yet. That’s a relief.
You haven’t washed the dishes?
Let’s not talk about that. Let’s talk about this Green thing. Y’know, how I’m saving the world one recycled paper bag at a time.
You’re so incredibly lazy. Those dishes are from three days ago.
How dare you call me lazy. I learned all about Green living. I couldn’t do that if I was lazy.
Really? Tell me something you learned.
I learned that Farmers Markets have really good food. I got a pulled pork sandwich and popcorn and a fresh squee—
What does that have to do with Green Living?! Do you even know what Green means?
Greens means things are good for the environment. Like recycling. And buying locally grown food. And using a water filter on your faucet instead of buying bottled water. And using wind power. How awesome is wind power? I can’t even see the wind, but it can power my house.
You don’t even have a house. You live in an apartment.
Invisible wind can power that, too!
This interview is getting out of hand.
I have to agree, you’re not a very good interviewer. You didn’t even ask about algae gas. Algae can turn into gas and power your car. Ha.
It’s not exactly gas. Algae is biomass, which has a high amount of carbon dioxide, can be converted into a variety of—
Blah, blah, blah. Cars run on algae. Yeah, I just said that. I don’t need the science lesson, Professor Boring Pants.
I’m not boring!
Whatever. You need to wash dishes, so let’s wrap this up.
Fine. What are your final thoughts on Green Living?
Well, we only have the one planet, so we should take care of it. If we keep ruining the environment, we’ll end up leaving nothing for our kids but a big planet full of junk.
It took you twelve weeks to realize that?
Maybe.
